VOOOOLLLLLLLLCANO!!!!

So today I went to the Mall of America with my family because my aunt's here visiting and we always go there when she's here, and I enjoyed it even though it was a family hangout. Maybe that's lame but whatever, my aunt's cool and I like her. She's in the kitchen right next to me right now doing dishes, maybe I should find a better time to write about her, even if I'm only saying good things, it's still awkward for people to see that sort of thing. Or maybe just certain kinds of people, who knows. I sure as hell don't.

We ate dinner at the Rainforest Cafe, which has an awesome decour because there are gorillas on the cealing and the whole thing's all faux rainforest...hence the name...yeah. I don't feel like descriptions right now because I'm tired, but I will say this-there was a really, really annoying item on the menu. It was this volcano brownie, and whenever anyone ordered it the waitors had to walk up to their table chanting VOOOOLLLLLLLLCANO!!!! really, really loud and people ordered them like every five seconds. At first it was funny, but the amusement died pretty quickly.

Then I came home and called Ashley and we talked about Grad School and the future and stuff, so when we got off the phone I went in the living room to ask my dad some questions about it, and after I asked what must have been too many my aunt was like "don't worry about it, god, you have two years of high school left." and then I felt stupid and slightly pissed because I HATE when people undermine me like that. Oh you're just a teenager, I don't have to take you seriously for a few more years...nah...don't worry about it, you'll be fine. Right. So that's why I'm now updating my live journal and listening to Modest Mouse.

I missed listening to their CD because I listened to them a lot in the March/April area, and then just kind of stopped. I guess I overdid it with them, but now it's been long enough and I can listen to it again...so yay. And seriously, there is a flower or creature or other gayness of the sort in the enviornment right now running amock that is making my eyes itch like a motherfucker...I sneeze like every five seconds now, and I will find that piece of shit and create a plant holocaust and exterminate it's entire species. Goddamn.

You know what? I think every person has one emotional state that they go back to when they don't have a particular reason to feel happy, sad, angry, etc. It's your base feeling, it's what you essentially do with your thoughts. And I need to readjust mine because it's depression/anger/negativity, but I love being negative because honestly it's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, (that was totally stolen from Closer, only the line was 'lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off'...w/e, I doctored it to fit my purposes) I just need to stop being sad for no reason. And I don't actually act that way around people because I get that it's dumb and I understand when I have a right to feel bad and when I don't, but even when I don't the feeling creeps up on me and it pisses me off. Everything pisses me off though, I could write speech upon speech on the things that piss me off and it would be longer and more heartfelt than anything written by any one of those historical fucks, only it wouldn't be meaningful in the least.

Right now, I'm listening to Satin in a Coffin by Modest Mouse, which inspired me to write this one story once. Now I feel better, because writing by me or other people, if it's done well, is one of the few things that can make me happy, calm, realxed, euphoric, at peace just by existing. When I come across it, it is pure love. Yay. That reminds me of a color bar Greg made me once that said Frida is pure love, and I'm so going to my old LJ and finding it, it was a Christmas present.

There's a good movie being watched in the basement, so I'm leaving now.